Life After Facebook
A few months ago I took leave and deleted all of my Facebook accounts. (Read why here) I was a ‘several times a day’ user so it could have been a difficult transition for me. I was pretty dedicated to my reasons for leaving. For my stubborn personality, that was pretty much all I needed to end the Facebook relationship that I had nurtured for quite a while.
The other day I spent 2 hours chatting and catching up with a friend who lives out of state. Literally the first thing she asked me was when I was coming back to Facebook. I told her that I wasn’t and she feigned offense. It seems that she wanted me to be on Facebook so that she could keep up with what was going on in my life. I told her that when I was posting 3-4 times a day and posting pictures I couldn’t recall her ever saying anything back. “That’s ok,” she replied, “I still liked looking in on you and seeing what you were doing.” I told her I would start sending her a text picture every once in a while and after all we did talk on the phone.
I don’t miss Facebook. Every once in a while I might find out that I’ve missed something. Like finding out that someone I know moved from my neighborhood to a suburb 20 miles away. Yet, if she and I were really friends I guess I would have known that. So most of the time I just don’t know what I miss and that seems just fine.
Before I left Facebook I downloaded all of the email addresses and contact information of those in my network. I also downloaded birthdays and uploaded them to my desktop calendar. (see how to do this here) From there I try hard to note everyone’s birthday and send them a text or email on their day. Some people I regretfully miss (Sorry Tracey!!) but some I remember and that’s actually on par with how I have always been.
My partner is still on Facebook but it seems that we talk about totally different things these days. While parts of our old conversations may have spun off of Facebook updates, such as conversations about what Bob posted, what Bob did, or what Bob said, that’s no longer the case. Because that’s not a trigger to log in and look in, I think my partner goes without checking Facebook for days if not weeks at a time. Which in my view kind of highlights an undercurrent about Facebook. If you don’t say anything for weeks at a time will anyone send out a “what’s up” to you? Will anyone notice you are gone?
If you haven’t already noticed from my posts and glimpses into my lifestyle design, I tend to place a high value on being an individual who does not go with the crowd. Someone who seeks alternative ways of expression and maintaining some controls in a world that has many ways to control me. For me Facebook threatened that expression and I became one in a very large crowd losing significant control over my private information. Since I left Facebook I have not been without friends and perhaps this experience has highlighted them. These are the people that I’ve spoken to by phone, text, email or even those who have reached out across Twiiter to say “good morning” to me @spencerhope, causing my phone to buzz like an incoming text with their hello. For those who don’t have my personal phone number a “hello” tweet is a cool and quick way to say hello and keep the love line open. I recently joined a running group and there will be a get together party in a couple of weeks. I received an email from the group with a link to their Facebook page and a warning that there would be much that I would miss out on if I didn’t join the Facebook page. Oh well. I never wanted to read Facebook updates while I was running anyway.
Ultimately, while I miss out on some things I still mange to know some important stuff without Facebook. A friends’ baby is going to be a girl who will be named Alex. I found out the same day that she did. Hugs will be given at the shower next week. There is a party this weekend that I may not go to but I know about it. Last week a friend asked us to come ring in the New Year with them and we did. In perfect randomness I get emails with silly jokes and a ‘how are you doing’ note attached. And, when I lose touch I spend two hours catching up with much more energy and back and forth drops of information than I ever would or could on Facebook. In other words, life without Facebook goes on kinda like it used to. Remember those days?
I don’t have Facebook share links on this blog, nor will there be Facebook pages for the blogs I have coming; one on Veganism and the other on living what I call a “No Alarm Clock Required” life. Simply put, this reflects a philosophy that says that if I won’t do it, I’m not going to ask you to. I truly hope that your enjoyment of the blog and the passing on of information that I share with you here and in the near future on the other blogs will not be limited to Facebook. If something I’ve said moves you to action, thought or change, tell a friend. Email a link or share it using any of the click on links below. Subscribe to the blog here to have it sent your email address or have new updates sent to your Kindle so that you’ll never miss an update. Post a comment on the blog post. Say hello by email at spencer@spencerhopedavis.com or on twitter @spencerhope . Stay in touch!
