I’m taking a pause from blogging for a while. Expiration date unknown. I had a lot of online work plans for the New Year but something has been tugging at me for quite a while now. I think I owe it to my growth to pause, to find the words and to listen.  Nothing traumatic has happened so don’t worry. I’m as healthy, as involved and as happy as I have ever been and I intend to stay that way.

I’m not withdrawing from the world. Far from it. I feel I’m opening to the world in ways that I haven’t in the years. I think I’ve been behind a computer a little too long.  I feel like writing chunks of thought in blogs has kept me from stretching out and following my intellectual intuition. I feel like I’ve traveled and thought about the description rather than the feeling more than I should have. I want to stop this and try a new approach.

I haven’t made a lot of promises on this blog, but if I have made one that appears I will not fulfill, let me apologize now.  There is I believe, a more fulfilling place for me to look toward and that must come first.  You might have noticed last summer when I started moving away from Facebook that my conversations with you reflected a desire to move away from social media because I believe we are giving up too much of ourselves for that type of connection.

Then a while back I saw this video:

In it, a simple idea was born from the realization that people just aren’t looking to each other in the same way anymore. And so I’m stepping out of the virtual world for a while to open myself up and learn some really important things about myself, my loved ones and the people and roads around me.

I’m not sure if the tipping point for me was training for the half marathon and finding a trance state of pure thought and feeling a little like Forrest Gump, but I feel different now.  Sometimes you have to follow what you feel without questioning why. Here’s my favorite scene from that movie:

Who knows what the future holds.  Being open to that journey is perhaps my best observation from the road less traveled. Take care and maybe we’ll meet face to face somewhere on that journey.

So it’s been a little over three months since I declared that I was going to run a half marathon and lose 40 pounds. Just reading that sentence seems a little crazy. But that’s what I’ve been trying to do. I’ve got three months to go and amazingly it looks like I’m halfway to both goals.

My first month of watching what I ate went swimmingly. I lost 10 pounds without effort, which is why I love it when I behave like a good vegan and eat properly. I’ve tried to avoid smashing down bags of Lays chips and jumbo portions of Sour Patch Kids. Sometimes I’ve failed but I know that when you take excessive sugar and bad carbs out, fat has an easier time leaving the body. Today I’m not sure how much I weigh because the scale died from constant checking, but according to the Wii scale, I’ve lost between 17-20 pounds. About halfway. With three months to go I just might make it. An additional fifteen to twenty pounds seem possible. I’m not sold on that number though. When it feels right I’ll know and that may be about 10 pounds away.

Which brings me to the running.

Last time we talked about this goal I was ready to break the milestone of running 10 minutes without stopping. Today I can run a 5k (3.1 miles) without stopping, and then walk 30 seconds before hitting it again. On weekends I try to have a long run of 6 or 7 miles. I also stopped running on the treadmill because longer runs are simply unmanageable inside. One weekend I went to a high school track and ran an incredible 24 laps. When I finished I thought, “Wow, you should just do that on the street. At least you can look at something.” So, I’ve started to just head out and run.

An amazing transformation. I really can’t believe I’m doing this. I always wanted to run long distances regularly but I never imagined that I could discipline myself to do it. My dedication and desire to run 10-15 miles a week has really surprised me. This dedication seems to have crept up on me ….or maybe I’ve just been too focused on the pain.

There’s a t-shirt that says, “Pain is weakness leaving the body.” Well, I must be pretty weak because from the day I started running in October there hasn’t been one day without hip to toe soreness or pain. Not one day since have I walked down the stairs without the silent scream. It’s becoming… irritating. This is especially remarkable for me because in my house I am famously known for stating the obvious—“I hate pain.” So for me to endure this and continue is a “teachable moment!” Still, if I weren’t at a symbolic halfway point, a place where I’m thinking the pain will soon begin to subside, I would be convinced to reconsider.

At the end of the day I believe my pain has come from too many long runs too quickly. After I quickly graduated from the Couch to 5K app, I logged on to Nike + and tracked my outdoor runs on my iPhone app. Nike’s half marathon training program is pretty intense and I never felt I was recovering enough, so a couple of weeks ago I returned to my race’s more conservative beginner program.

I’ve been reading running magazines and books and I’ve learned how to judge injury from soreness. So far I haven’t had a run stopping injury. But now I run with a knee brace on because somewhere after 4 miles I notice a instability in my left knee. Last week I started wearing a lace up ankle brace on my right ankle. Something bad starts happening to my ankle after 6 miles. Icing and epsom salt baths help tremendously. I think I’m now steady enough to keep going, healing on off days and strengthening during runs while increasing the miles toward March’s destination of 13.1 miles.

Here’s a video I watch on my iPhone when I’m soaking in the tub, wondering if I’m up to this. It’s totally inspiring, summing up the struggle and triumph of running and reaching for a goal. And the song that’s playing? Can’t put that on my iPhone and run because I wouldn’t be able to run while crying! From the site Beautiful Athlete

Running can be lonely and that in itself is a lesson to be okay with. No one in my house is able to run. I haven’t been able to hook up with anyone in my neighborhood so far. A few weeks back I joined a local running group and headed out to a meet up. We met in a parking lot and decided which way we were going to run and everyone took off. They were so much faster than me. It was humbling that I never saw them again until the run was finished. I focused. Ran my pace. Did 3.5 miles running alone. I did have thoughts of never showing again but I’ll get past that. A marathoner once said, “Whether you come in first or last you still finish.” So in my mind I try to get past ego while pushing my speed gains appropriately. I may never be fast. Another runner once said about trying to be a speedster, “Maybe you just suck at that.” Maybe I do and I’ll always be a turtle. But when I close my eyes at night and think about the next days run, I’m a gazelle passing everyone. I would love to have a running buddy to help me get through the rough spots but if I must do this alone I suppose I’ll be better in the end?

Running burns an incredible amount of calories. After a 6-7 mile run my monitor say’s I’ve burned well over 600 calories. This seems like a good thing but an hour afterward I’m asleep–exhausted. I run most times in the morning so I’ve had an overnight without food. Even a quick breakfast can’t prepare me for my run’s calorie burn. If I don’t eat a lot and well throughout each day I can be in trouble. Depleted and weak. It’s a challenge. But I try very hard to eat lots of good carbs for energy and keep the protein sources coming to keep my muscles strong. I take iron tablets daily to combat my well-documented anemia that is often worse in runners who deplete blood cells from the repetitive striking on pavement and the battery that is running. But I love it.

I’ve decided to run a 14K next month to prep for the half marathon the month after. 14k is almost 9 miles. I figure if I’m not able to do that by then, I may not be able to manage things by race time. This is a curious balance—losing weight, yet needing to eat enough to keep me strong enough for the next days run. Sometimes if it’s safe to zone out like on the track, I’ll run listening to an audio book, but I’m starting to run more and more without the need for distraction. I find solace in the sounds of my own hypnotic shuffle. It’s actually kind of fun. Wow. Am I becoming a runner?

I hope you enjoyed this post. I’ve thought a lot about enhancing the experience of Kindle subscribers who get the blog sent to them wirelessly. Writing longer posts on occasion will give you more to chew on while reading bedside. See you next time!

In the meantime, here are a couple of interesting links and bloggers I’ve come across.

Good Form Running presented by New Balance Shoes

Black Girls Run

No Meat Athlete

Runners World Article, “Why is Running So White?’ (link)

Beautiful Athlete

Run Janelle Run

A few months ago I took leave and deleted all of my Facebook accounts. (Read why here) I was a ‘several times a day’ user so it could have been a difficult transition for me. I was pretty dedicated to my reasons for leaving. For my stubborn personality, that was pretty much all I needed to end the Facebook relationship that I had nurtured for quite a while.

The other day I spent 2 hours chatting and catching up with a friend who lives out of state. Literally the first thing she asked me was when I was coming back to Facebook. I told her that I wasn’t and she feigned offense. It seems that she wanted me to be on Facebook so that she could keep up with what was going on in my life. I told her that when I was posting 3-4 times a day and posting pictures I couldn’t recall her ever saying anything back. “That’s ok,” she replied, “I still liked looking in on you and seeing what you were doing.” I told her I would start sending her a text picture every once in a while and after all we did talk on the phone.

I don’t miss Facebook. Every once in a while I might find out that I’ve missed something. Like finding out that someone I know moved from my neighborhood to a suburb 20 miles away. Yet, if she and I were really friends I guess I would have known that. So most of the time I just don’t know what I miss and that seems just fine.

Before I left Facebook I downloaded all of the email addresses and contact information of those in my network. I also downloaded birthdays and uploaded them to my desktop calendar. (see how to do this here) From there I try hard to note everyone’s birthday and send them a text or email on their day. Some people I regretfully miss (Sorry Tracey!!) but some I remember and that’s actually on par with how I have always been.

My partner is still on Facebook but it seems that we talk about totally different things these days. While parts of our old conversations may have spun off of Facebook updates, such as conversations about what Bob posted, what Bob did, or what Bob said, that’s no longer the case. Because that’s not a trigger to log in and look in, I think my partner goes without checking Facebook for days if not weeks at a time. Which in my view kind of highlights an undercurrent about Facebook. If you don’t say anything for weeks at a time will anyone send out a “what’s up” to you? Will anyone notice you are gone?

If you haven’t already noticed from my posts and glimpses into my lifestyle design, I tend to place a high value on being an individual who does not go with the crowd. Someone who seeks alternative ways of expression and maintaining some controls in a world that has many ways to control me. For me Facebook threatened that expression and I became one in a very large crowd losing significant control over my private information. Since I left Facebook I have not been without friends and perhaps this experience has highlighted them. These are the people that I’ve spoken to by phone, text, email or even those who have reached out across Twiiter to say “good morning” to me @spencerhope, causing my phone to buzz like an incoming text with their hello. For those who don’t have my personal phone number a “hello” tweet is a cool and quick way to say hello and keep the love line open. I recently joined a running group and there will be a get together party in a couple of weeks. I received an email from the group with a link to their Facebook page and a warning that there would be much that I would miss out on if I didn’t join the Facebook page. Oh well. I never wanted to read Facebook updates while I was running anyway.

Ultimately, while I miss out on some things I still mange to know some important stuff without Facebook. A friends’ baby is going to be a girl who will be named Alex. I found out the same day that she did. Hugs will be given at the shower next week. There is a party this weekend that I may not go to but I know about it. Last week a friend asked us to come ring in the New Year with them and we did. In perfect randomness I get emails with silly jokes and a ‘how are you doing’ note attached. And, when I lose touch I spend two hours catching up with much more energy and back and forth drops of information than I ever would or could on Facebook. In other words, life without Facebook goes on kinda like it used to. Remember those days?

I don’t have Facebook share links on this blog, nor will there be Facebook pages for the blogs I have coming; one on Veganism and the other on living what I call a “No Alarm Clock Required” life. Simply put, this reflects a philosophy that says that if I won’t do it, I’m not going to ask you to. I truly hope that your enjoyment of the blog and the passing on of information that I share with you here and in the near future on the other blogs will not be limited to Facebook. If something I’ve said moves you to action, thought or change, tell a friend. Email a link or share it using any of the click on links below. Subscribe to the blog here to have it sent your email address or have new updates sent to your Kindle so that you’ll never miss an update. Post a comment on the blog post. Say hello by email at spencer@spencerhopedavis.com or on twitter @spencerhope . Stay in touch!

YES! The New Year begins! Rarely do I get enthusiastic about a new year or set aside resolutions but to be honest 2011 was a difficult one for me. If anything, I need some kind of psychological “end/begin.” Saying goodbye to 2011 and hello to 2012 is something I’ve looked forward to this time.

Forgive me for not blogging over the past weeks. I almost didn’t want to jinx the coming year by writing anything until today. Instead I engaged in my ritual of media fasting in order to prepare for what I believe will be an incredible shift in my focus and ability to communicate and complete my goals. I’ve seen quite a few of my blogging friends do reviews of their year and I’ve enjoyed reading them. I would just prefer to move forward. Believe me, I have learned from the mistakes of the past year, I’ve noted the good and with that and I’m ready to move on. Here’s a bit of what’s coming:

In the next week or so I will be launching two new topic driven blogs. I will continue to blog here on my observations from the road less traveled. What I’ve learned since this blog started over 2 years ago is that there is an ongoing interest in two facets of my life– my veganism and my ability to work online. In order to get ideas to more people and to also focus on the intricacies of the two, I will begin blogging about them separately. This is exciting because I will be able to write in greater detail and provide some very concrete step by step tips and examples that I would not put on this blog. For instance, I’ll be writing on real and practical steps for going and staying vegan in words beyond my own experiences that I write about here. In the new blog focused on my “no alarm clock” philosophy, I’ll offer readers tips and specific business plans to try out for their own potential journey into this lifestyle.

All of this means I will be writing much more blog content that I believe you will find interesting. I am working on creating a posting schedule that will be noted on all three blogs so that everyone can choose which sites work best for them. You can then look for posts on days that suit your preferred content.

I hope you continue with me on the journey. It’s going to be a great year!

GoAnimate.com: Oprah’s Three Questions by spencerhope

Like it? Create your own at GoAnimate.com.

I made the little video above because there was a time when I so bowled over by an Oprah Winfrey quote that it became a mantra of the moment for me. On her final show, she gave an incredible master class and shared her thoughts on what she perceived to be a core piece of meaning for many of us. She said, “I’ve talked to nearly 30,000 people on this show, and all 30,000 had one thing in common: They all wanted validation. If I could reach through this television and sit on your sofa or sit on a stool in your kitchen right now, I would tell you that every single person you will ever meet shares that common desire. They want to know: ‘Do you see me? Do you hear me? Does what I say mean anything to you?’”

Yes, that makes perfect sense and when she implored us to, “Try it with your children, your husband, your wife, your boss, your friends. Validate them. ‘I see you. I hear you. And what you say matters to me,’” I thought…wow…. this one conversation could be the key to breaking down so many moments of distress between co-workers, partners, spouses, children, parents—everybody.

But you see, you can ask a person to validate you but in the end if you don’t validate yourself first you will tend to walk around going from person to person asking them, “Can you see me?” “Can you hear me?” “Does what I say mean anything to you?” There are a lot of people to ask that of, but only one person’s answer really matters. YOURS!

And then one night I was scanning the TV and came across an ESPN E-60 program highlighting the story of former pro basketball player Chris Herren. He came up extraordinarily talented, lived life as a pro baller and made lots of money. He has a wife and kids and from all outside views many chances at a great life. But something was missing. Perhaps as a result of this, from his early days in college he has been an addict or as he is now, a recovering addict. At the end of the show, as he celebrated three years of sobriety he spoke of how after six years he had stopped shaving and brushing his teeth in the shower. He said that he realized that until now he could not look himself in the face.

That clip is here:

Amazing. Imagine not being able to look yourself in the face? After hearing this, I thought that the best beginning to a day and the best close to a day would be to walk into your bathroom, look yourself straight in the eyes and say, ” I see you.” “I hear you.” “What you say and feel matters.”

Can you do it? Start today!

About a month ago I wrote a post about losing weight and wanting to run a half marathon in March of 2012. It’s been a pretty productive month and I’m moving along at a good pace. I’m training slowly but surely and watching my intake of chips, candy and hot fries. My weaknesses. Since that post I have lost 10 of my 40 pound goal and while I’m not trying to do a “Biggest Loser” extreme routine, I have been working out in ways that are do-able for me.

Exercise:

Monday, Wednesday, and Friday I run. At first I struggled to run 60 seconds at a time. This was tough to swallow since I had been able to run an 8k just 6 months ago. Clearly when you don’t use it, you lose it! Today I am able to run 10 minutes before a walk break. Now that may seem like an impossible way to imagine running 13 miles in 5 months but slow and steady wins the race. To be on track for the half marathon training program that my race has released, I will need to be able to run 20 minutes non-stop in two weeks. I am pretty sure I will be able to do this and then follow their program in order to be ready on race day. Overall, right now I’m spending no more than 45 minutes warming up, walking and running.

As I’ve gotten in better shape, my problem with running longer distances has moved from the physical to the mental. It’s not that I can’t run for long periods, it’s just that I have trouble shutting random thoughts out. Then my breathing gets highjacked, my stride fails and I start walking. I’ll get this under control soon. I also run speed intervals where I up the treadmill speed for 60 seconds, then walk 120 seconds, then sprint again for 60. This I do 10 to 12 times and I’m not only getting faster but also becoming stronger. When I started I was at a 5 on the treadmill, which is a 12-minute mile. Now I can easily sprint at 7.5. I have my eye on 9.0 sprints just around the corner.

Tuesday and Thursday I strength train with a basic full body workout on circuit machines at my gym. In a 40-minute work out I cover both my lower and upper body and abs. I complete 12 reps, then 10 and then 8 with progressively heavier weights. I use light weights and I don’t increase overall weight rapidly. I want to gradually build tone and strength– not bulk.

Saturday’s I try to do something interesting like Trikking, tennis, or hot yoga. I take Sunday off but I find that during my week if I get stressed an extra 30-minute walk not only relieves that but also adds to my weekly caloric burn. I burn between 1500-1800 calories a week by exercising.

Diet:

My diet is a work in progress. Now that I’m not grabbing for chips, soda and juice my calories have to come from food in ways that I’m adjusting to. But in the tradition of the Body for LIfe program I do set aside one day a week to slam down some hot fries, chips, sour patch kids and twizzlers! As you may know from earlier posts I am a vegan and I have been challenged with eating well and working out at the same time. Am I eating enough calories to sustain my workouts? I’m not 100% sure but I think so.  I’m very conscious of my protein intake and I try very hard to eat the right carbs that maintain good levels of energy throughout the day. I feel pretty good and it seems I’m eating all the time with a goal between 1500-1700 calories a day.  It’s actually quite a pain to make sure that I’m eating all day!

A Sample Day: 1579 Calories, 103 g protein, 44g fat, 209g carbs
Ratios: 50% carbs 25% protein, 25% fats

Breakfast:
Ezekiel Sprouted Bread w/ Strawberry Jam and Vegan Butter

Snack:
Fuji Apple Slice with Almond Butter

Lunch:
Penne Pasta and Homemade Sauce (garlic, peppers, olives, onions)

Afternoon Snack:
Protein Shake with Maca Powder and Chia Seeds

Dinner:
Seitan w/Grilled Veggies
Kale Salad

Evening Snack:
Rooibos Tea Sweetened w/ Black Strap Molasses
100-calorie Raw Revolution Chocolate and Cashew Bar

I take the following supplements daily: 65mg Iron, 1000mg Vitamin C, 1000mg Calcium, 1000iu Vitamin D 1000mcg B12.

The Bottom Line:

Keep in mind that 1 pound equals about 3500 calories. I’m not a nutritional expert but this whole thing seems as simple as calories in and calories out. In the past month I’ve burned on avg. 1800 calories a week with my exercises. That’s 7200 calories a month or 2 pounds. I’ve also subtracted 1000 calories a day from the amount it would take for me to just maintain my weight. That’s 7000 calories a week x four weeks = 28000 calories or 8 pounds. Since I can verify that I’ve lost 10 pounds in the past month it seems that this is working. Not a lot of pain. Only 45 minutes a day. The only time I am hungry is when I get distracted by work and don’t eat at regular intervals. This is working for me!

So that’s my monthly update on this particular journey. I feel good. I’ve had no injuries and I’m dedicated to taking this one step at a time in order to stay healthy. My core is a little lumpy but I’m seeing body changes that I like. Muscle tone popping up again. Strength returning. If all goes as planned, next time I update you on these goals I will have lost another 10 pounds and will be running 30 minutes at a time. Join me on twitter @spencerhope for more regular updates on my weight and running quest!

I have an iPhone 4 and on the surface I’m not that interested in upgrading to the new iPhone 4S. Yes, Siri the new voice command tool that is said to do everything for you from finding restaurants to telling you the meaning of life is interesting but also a little creepy and I’m fine without it. I thought that I would use my existing phone’s voice control capabilities to dial numbers and play music by voice command but I never did. So Siri is not a draw for me. Plus Apple is fantastic in that they release upgrades that work on older models so many of the cool new features I will still have on my iPhone 4 and original iPad.

What I am interested in and will always be a sucker for is a good deal. I saw that Apple was offering buybacks on the iPhone 4′s and giving Apple store credit for them. I have no wish list in the Apple store but that reminded me that I once traded in all of my old phones and ipods to Amazon and received a healthy Amazon gift card which I used to deplete a good chunk of my wish list. And then it came to me—what about the Kindle Fire?

If you have an iPhone you can trade it in to Amazon and receive a gift card which you can use for any object they sell, including the Kindle Fire. As of today Amazon is offering $240 for an iPhone 4. $280 if you have it un-used and in it’s original box. You ship it to them at their cost and they will credit your account by gift card.

The key here is to act quickly. The more phones they receive the lower the trade-in value will go. The sweet spot of course is to be able to purchase an iPhone 4S for $200 and get at least that much to trade so that you can buy the Kindle Fire for $199. Think about trading in all those old iPods tossed around. Video cameras too. The only hitch is Amazon does not allow trade in for their Kindles so you can’t upgrade your Kindle this way.

I haven’t decided to jump yet. $200 cash is $200 spent and I don’t see the need to do that even though I am eligible for an upgraded iPhone. I think the Kindle Fire would make a great gift either way. If you can swing the $200 cash (don’t use credit!) you can get both for the price of one. Something to consider but remember the trade values are moving as we speak!

Each night I spend a few moments visualizing running a 13.1 mile race this coming March. I know I will be able to do it but it would really be nice not to fall across the finish line convulsing and shaking. I’d like to make it in an energized and healthy way so, in my mind I am running fast, light footed and smiling as I cross the finish line.  Last March when I did an 8K I got incredibly sick before and after running.  Part of that was because I didn’t train for it. While I made it without passing out, it was only the second time that I had gone that far. The first time being a practice run the week earlier, which resulted in so much lactic acid build up that I was projectile vomiting 3 days later. But I still went ahead and ran the race and afterwards my body shut down.

At a regular physical later, I found I had several nutritional deficiencies, the worst being an iron count so low that a blood transfusion was mentioned. So I want to do it better this time. I want to train slowly but properly. I want to get my body in the best optimal and nutritionally sound shape so that this experience goes down easier.

Morning time is the time that I pay most attention to this preparation. I will need to be more conscious of my nutrient levels for success.  I figure if I can concentrate a great deal of good into the morning then I won’t risk forgetting things as my day moves forward.

I set my intention at night and then focus on making it a reality each morning.

So, I get up sometime between 8 and 9 and prepare for the physical part.  Three days a week I go to my neighborhood gym and run a segment of interval training. This takes only 30 minutes. I walk 5 minutes on the treadmill then do intervals of sprints/jogs/walks each lasting anywhere from 90 seconds to 3 minutes each. Lots of trainers will tell you that interval runs are best for cardio and strength development. If you run for 30 minutes non-stop on pace, the body will find a comfort zone. Pushing through intervals is the best way to build up the stamina I will need for the race.

Then I’m back home and within 30 minutes from the time I stepped off the treadmill I have my special smoothie:

Calories- 304, Protein –26g, Fat- 8.5g, Cholesterol-0, Carbs 40g

1 cup almond milk

1 scoop sun warrior protein

1-ounce goji berries

1 tsp maca powder

2 tbsp chia seeds

Raspberries and small banana

Goji berries are an excellent source of vitamin C, which is key for boosting my immune system and aiding in recovery after workouts. They also have a good amount of calcium in them.

Chia Seeds are necessary for fiber and heart healthy but non-animal sourced Omega 3’s.  It also makes me feel quite full. Imagine the Chia Pet commercial. The small amount of chia in my system expands so I feel full. This can be a bonus for people trying to reduce calorie intake and lose weight.

Maca powder is my happy powder. It balances my hormones so that my moods are far less up and down. My energy levels are through the roof without crashing backward.  I would add that both men and women report amorous feelings when regularly using maca powder. It’s the shot to the hormones that is probably the reason for this. Pre and post menopausal women use maca quite often.

On the days I’m not doing interval runs I try to mix something else in. I’ll go to hot yoga one day of the week or I’ll go Trikking or do a P90x workout if I’m feeling really strong.  My goal is to do something each morning 6 days a week.

I would say that the morning activity and smoothie routines are the main points of success for me. Getting them done and early at that, leaves me feeling accomplished and less likely to fall into bad habits later in the day. I feel good and don’t want to blow it by eating chips or letting something odd make me get off track emotionally.  If I were to do this in the evening I think I would be in repair mode, upset with myself over what I didn’t do properly during the day.

What I’m learning more than anything is that just 30 minutes of movement and 10 minutes of nutritional attention can make a world of difference for me. Setting intention the night before has become my secret weapon for goal success.

Some Resources:

Nativa Naturals Superfoods: (link)

Sun Warrior Protein (link)

Beginning with 5k in 9 weeks (link)

Facebook is banking that you are too tied to the service to quit them. They are hoping that you will be blinded by the beauty of Timeline and will be so busy clicking on your friend’s Timelines that you won’t see or understand that with each click you tighten yourself deeper into the cog. They are banking that you won’t have the time, tech savvy or knowledge of all the steps needed to undo all of the default settings they have put in place to open your identity to more people than you thought you allowed. They are betting that you can’t imagine life without Facebook. That you fear losing touch, losing the ability to share, and that you’ll forget that it was just a few years ago that you were staying in touch and sharing your life on your own terms and were doing just fine. They’re betting that you have come to feel that there was no life before Facebook and that there will not be a life for you without it.

Make them lose that bet. Quit Facebook. I am.

Take the Red Pill and Leave The Matrix

Can’t say that I didn’t see this new Facebook day coming. It’s been a queasy feeling for me for quite a while now. Admittedly, I loved Facebook. For all the reasons that you probably do: I liked sharing links, photos, stories, and happenings with friends. But in the past year or so I’ve noticed a trend in myself and in others in sharing more and more intimacies that I felt uncomfortable seeing or uncomfortable after I posted them. What was going on here?  I…we…were getting too comfortable with this medium. My opinion.

Then the privacy issues arose. First it was the realization that some of my personal pictures (nothing explicit of course but just personal) were not just tagged but swiped off the page and used in a way that I would never have willingly allowed. That was my fault for posting them and I felt that as long as I stayed in control of who my friends were, what sites accessed my info and what I deemed public, I would be okay. Yet Facebook started crumbling that false sense of control away and that’s when it really stopped being fun. Gradually I noticed more changes. Facebook allowed apps and other third party businesses ongoing access to users info as the default setting.  They expected users to be aware and savvy enough to go into settings and repeatedly change or delete them. Easy to do but I was troubled by the thought that many would not get the memo or wouldn’t think about the repercussions. Changing privacy settings became an ongoing activity. The fun was leaving the experience.

Then in the past months the changes have accelerated. An example is the recent email sent that said Facebook would no longer send emails when someone posted on your wall or responded to something you posted. This had been a way for me to limit online time but also know when someone connected with me. I saw this as Facebook’s way of keeping users online. Now, if I wanted to keep the emails coming I had to go in and change the settings.

In the past month I noticed that it seemed my friends weren’t posting as much as usual. I came to find that Facebook has instituted a new setting where all of my friend’s posts are set to show up in my home page feed as “most updates” instead of “all updates.” This meant that I wasn’t seeing the posts of my chosen friends and they weren’t necessarily seeing what I posted. What’s the point of sharing if Facebook decides what I am seeing? Facebook now rates posts as important “top stories” and puts a lot of what they want at the top of my homepage feed based on a confusing algorithm of factors. Again, I would have to go in and change the settings for each friend. Not something I wanted to do.

 Last week Facebook announced Timeline and other sharing changes and it became clear to me at least, that users are losing control of their profiles under the guise that we will be sharing in better ways. Now friends can see everything posted since we joined Facebook and no one is sure if there is a way to really, really stop non- friends from seeing what we once thought as private without first taking extended and ongoing measures. Think about how many times you saw this post from friends on Facebook in the past week:

Do me a favor: please hover over my name here, wait for the box to load and then hover over the “Subscribe” link. Then uncheck the “Comments and likes” choice. I would rather my comments on friends’ posts not be made public. Thanks** Then repost if you don’t want your EVERY MOVE posted on the right for everyone to see! I’ll do the same for you if you want. Just click “like.”!!!

This infers that you must do this process with each of your friends. Good luck with that. I hope you have the time to do that, and then set up privacy settings on other things, and other things, and other things. Check this short clip out:

But again this is just how I feel and why I am leaving facebook. I’d like to provide you with some links to articles that have broken down the issue in far more detail:

From CNN: “With “Real Time’ Apps, Facebook is Always Watching” Where you will read about the potential that Facebook can access and share what you are watching on Hulu, Netflix or listening to on Spotify with your Facebook friends.

From the CNN article cited above. Can you find yourself in that Matrix behind Zukerberg?

From CNN: “With Timeline Feature, Facebook Goes Eternal (or at least tries to).” Where you will see how Facebook wants Timeline to not only reflect all of your posts since joining but also wants you to go into Timeline and post things about yourself from the past all the way back until you were born if you would like to. Yes they would like you to. Not a big stretch of the imagination as users already share wedding dates, child birth dates, and family moments. Facebook wants to be the only place that you share and they want you to share everything.

From Mashable: “Facebook’s New Features Might Not Be as Private as You think”
From ReadWriteWeb “’Read’ in Facebook- It’s Not a Button So Be Careful What You Click!”
From Huffington Post: “Facebook Logout Tracking: Privacy Concerns Arise over Alleged Cookie Snooping”
These three will give you the low down on what all those clicks and settings are setting you up for.
All of these address concerns that even when you are logged out of Facebook they are still tracking your browsing information. Also that when you click “read” on certain sites your reading history will be shared with friends because you have defaulted into an information sharing application. You will then have to go into setting and change it or risk embarrassment when you click to read an article titled, “What’s the Best Way to Remove Pubic Hair Before Having Sex?”

And finally from Mashable, my “favorite” piece. “No, You Aren’t Going to Quit Facebook.” Where the author closes by saying, Yes, Facebook is changing and not all of those changes are going to be improvements. But as long as the online social graph is centered around a Facebook-led ecosystem, threats to quit the service are just that — threats.

In other words you are hooked so just deal with it.

How to Leave Facebook :

So I’m leaving Facebook for the reasons above and more. But since so many people seem to believe that it’s is an impossible act, let me tell how you can leave Facebook and maintain many of the activities you have become accustomed to since joining the service. Follow these tips and then read how to drop your account.

Tell your Facebook friends that you are leaving and tell them how you can be reached. Post this note over a few days because again, it just may not show up on some feeds. This will also give your friends a chance to say goodbye on this medium and tell you how they may want you to contact them in the future. Don’t burn any bridges that you will want to cross later just because you’re quitting Facebook.

What about talking to friends?
It used to be sufficient to talk to friends face to face or by phone, letter, email or text. You can still do that. Don’t have emails for all the new people that you’ve made friends with? Yes you do. All of your Facebook friends have an email attached to their account and it is posted on their info pages. This is a piece of information we have willingly given all of our Facebook friends. Take them with you. If you have a Yahoo email account (if not get one) you can import all of your friends email addresses into your Yahoo address book. Log in to Yahoo, click on “contact,” and then “import contacts” next the Facebook icon. You will then log into Facebook and all of your friends email addresses will be part of your address book.
Say  ”Hi”every now and then.

What About Birthdays?

Agreed. One of the nicest ways to show you care on Facebook has been the tradition of wishing a friend happy birthday. You can do the same once you are off Facebook. Log on to Facebook and click “events” from the left panel. Then click on birthdays and scroll to the bottom of the page where it says “export.” Click this and every friend’s special day can be added to your offline calendar. If you have a Mac these will be added to iCal. If you don’t have a Mac open a Google account and set up a calendar. Click calendars and under “other calendars” toggle to “add by url.” Cut and paste the web address Facebook gave you. All of the birthdays will now be there. You can even set alarms to remind you by email or on your desktop of these dates.

What About Phone Numbers and Addresses?

Not everyone shares this info on Facebook but if you want contact information stored in your phone ( emails, addresses, and phone numbers ) just make sure that you have the Facebook app. Click on the “friends” icon and look for the blue arrow in the upper right corner. It will give you the option to sync contacts. Click this and your phone will be downloaded with all available info from your friends profile including their smiling profile pictures.

What About All Those Great Pictures Shared?

Well. You might have to give up a lot of them. Many friends only post pictures to their Facebook pages. You can always ask by email if they will send you a couple. They are friends after all and that shouldn’t be a big deal. But prepare yourself that this may not be a part of your life as much as it has been on Facebook. BUT you can set up a drop site for friends to place photos. This works especially well for families. For example you can go to Flickr and open a free account and load pictures to it. Call it, “The Johnson Family Picture Page.”  Then make it password protected and send that password in an email to your family members asking them to post family pics there. It can be a very fun way to make sure that only family sees pics, comments, and posts. If you are a Mac user or have MobileMe, upload a family album and password protect that for your family members who can then upload and add their own pics to the slideshow.

Be bold and start a new family tradition.

What About All Those Great Picture Albums on Facebook and Links that My Friends Share?

You would be surprised how many photo albums are viewable on Facebook without the need for you to log in or have an account. A great example is this Facebook based album of photos from the Wall Street protests. You’ll be told you need to log on but you don’t have to in order to see the pictures. Just click cancel every time it asks you and keep viewing. Many Facebook fan pages are the same. (example 1, example 2, example 3) You only need to have a Facebook account to post there, not to read them. So you can look at them as a means of weaning yourself off Facebook or as a way to be there but not there. As far as cool news links, Twitter is the place to be in my opinion. I get more interesting and diverse links there than from any other place. You might want to try Twitter. Follow a few celebrities @MsTerryMcMillan @PamGrier @andersoncooper news sites @HuffingtonPost @cnnbrk or pop culture sites @popsugar @peoplemag to get the feel of it, and then find some of your friends (through email address or invites) and start talking. It can be far less intrusive and actually quite interesting. Roll over the Twitter names to see these pages.

What About All my Friends on Facebook?

Now you didn’t expect me, who says you don’t need an alarm clock, don’t need a grocery store and who constantly tells you to walk down the road less traveled, to be the one to tell you to stay on Facebook just because you have friends there did you? Your friends are wherever you are. Wherever they are. Or they are not friends.

Be bold. Step out and find your own way…..again.

How Do I Close My Account?

****UPDATE****  Before you take the step to delete your account go to “Account Settings” and click the blue link for “download a copy.”  Even if you have made copies of all the pics and such on your account this option will download a folder of all of your posts, pics and videos posted since you joined.  It will take a while for it to archive but when done this is a nice extra source to download to your hard drive.****

Go to your account and click on “security.” You are given the option to deactivate the account by clicking on the blue link.  Understand that deactivating your account just puts it on pause. No one can reach you but Facebook maintains all of your information, posts, friends lists, and pictures. Another tricky option because you think that this ends it but it doesn’t. They keep the info and they’re hoping that you will not make it through withdrawal and sign back on and pick up where you left off.  It is your call on this one but if you really want this to end, make sure you are logged on and go to this link. Click submit and breathe. You’ve done it!

What’s Next For Me After Facebook:

Spread this post far and wide and especially to your Facebook friends. I will be off Facebook by October 2, 2011, both on my personal account and blog/business feeds on Facebook. As to my business side of Facebook, I am a firm believer that there are ways to market your business/book/work off Facebook. I’ll be writing on this later. After October 2, I won’t have “share” links for Facebook on this blog. If you share my work, please do so on Twitter or pass it along by email or post links on other lists that you may belong to.  I appreciate your friendship and your support. Look out for an email from me saying “Hi” every once in a while. Stay in touch. If you are a Facebook friend you will stay so unless you “unfriend” me by email. Connect with me on twitter @spencerhope and on the blog. Subscribe for weekly email posts or set me up on your Kindle reader. See you on the other side!

I am a procrastinator. I would say I am a professional at it because what I do to earn a living seems to get so much better work out of me when I wait until the last minute. I always have been this way and how I wish I were not because I am also a person that likes to take on big tasks that really need preparation. When I was a teenager and played basketball during the fall, I never worked out or played during the summer. Every year the first week of practice would find me in bed sick, sore and unable to move as my body broke down. Yet every year I did the same thing, willing to accept that pain rather than prepare and do better.

Today I am embarking on a dual goal of running a half marathon in March of next year and also being 40 pounds lighter when I take that run. I think I have more than enough time to get in shape for that run but you see, I always wait until the last moments to prepare–or not prepare. I’m not a stranger to running. I do it every once in a while, sometimes when I travel I like to run in a strange city. I wrote a blog about running an 8k in March of this year and how sick I got doing that. So I’m going to try to make the coming event a well prepared for one. I’ve been a good girl and downloaded all sorts of iPhone apps to take me from couch to 5K, 5k to 10k and then 10K to half marathon. I plan to follow the directions to the letter.

I also plan to focus on losing weight and gaining muscle during this time. Being a vegan has been tough on my body. At first I lost 20 pounds by doing nothing but changing my diet. I got really comfortable with that vegan freedom and just sat around enjoying that I could lose weight without working out. Then the muscle tone started leaving me and I started feeling too weak to work out. Then the weight started coming back. Using BMI calculations I should weigh 40 pounds less than I do right now. Never mind that the last time I weighed 40 pounds lighter I was 14 years old and was a flat chested, long legged coltish looking teenager. I’ll still give it shot. I’ll shoot for a big goal and see where I land somewhere in between.

The goal is to stay healthy, eat properly, workout, run and do it all with planning and consistency. No waiting until March!

And of course, I’ll be blogging on my adventures with this goal. Follow me on twitter @spencerhope (roll over name to follow) or my facebook page and you can subscribe by email or view the blog on your Kindle to keep up with the good, the bad, and the ugly of what awaits me.

Some Tools I Hope to Utilize:

A Combination of workout programs:
P90 X -link- (Only Plyometrics, Ab-Ripper and Yoga Workouts)
Body for Life -link- (For Weight Training)

Running Applications:

Couch to 5K (link)
Bridge to 10K (link)
Nike Plus Half Marathon Trainer (link)

Staying a Healthy Vegan:

Becoming Vegan- The Complete Guide to Adopting a Healthy Plant-Based Diet by Brenda Davis and Vesanto Melina
Veganomicon – The Ultimate Vegan Cookbook by Moskowitz and Romero

Let me just start with the simple fact that I hate going to the grocery store. I always buy more than I plan to buy and the extra always seems to come from the snack and wine aisles. I hate waiting in line. There is no true express lane no matter what they say. Self-checkout lanes? They are designed to check you out of your mind when you realize you’re taking twice as much time to look up broccoli on a touch screen.

I hate carrying bags and as much as I try not to, it seems I’m always forgetting my canvas good shopper recycled bags. I stopped clipping coupons a long time ago because I realized there was a tiny discount for products unless you are a super clipper and besides, have you ever really looked at the coupons in a Sunday paper? They are full of junk foods. Nothing even remotely healthy has a coupon because coupons are mostly there to make the public addicted to food and drugs that aren’t good for them in the first place. Once I became a vegan I quickly realized that at least 70% of the food in grocery stores is not vegan friendly and that’s probably the case for most vegetarians too. I started to wonder why I even bothered and started to think about never going in a grocery store again. Even those who aren’t vegan might want to think about joining me in this mindset.

Amazon Prime

I signed up for Amazon Prime back in February because it seemed a good choice for all the books we order as a family. Just about all books available through Amazon will have the “Prime” checkmark next to their price. Buy a “Prime” book and you get free two day shipping. Plus anyone in my family can use my Prime account even if they don’t live with me. Very nice for my daughter off at college who is always looking for deals on her textbooks. It easily paid for itself in about 6 months. Then I started thinking about Amazons grocery section and saw the Prime logo on many items and I thought…. hmmmm.

For the past couple of months I’ve been working on testing Prime for my grocery items and here’s what I’ve come to know:

Creating a shopping list on Amazon is easy. I went through the house and found all the items we would normally buy and placed them in my account shopping list. Over the past couple of days I’ve put together a sampling of 60 items on my list to share with readers. Find my list here. Virtually everything that I purchase for toiletries, food, pet and household items can be found at Amazon.

It takes about a minute to complete a small order, less than five for larger ones. I just pop them in my cart and pay. I don’t buy everything at once but I try to cut down on having a truck puffing through the neighborhood all the time by making more big orders than not. When I do see that I need something I go to Amazon first. This was the hardest thing to do—reminding everyone at home to go to the site rather than going to the grocery store and spending more money on extra items. I haven’t experienced impulse buys while doing my shopping on Amazon.

My orders arrive at my doorstep in two days tops with no shipping costs. Because we live near a processing facility sometimes they arrive next day. Several times I have placed an order at 4pm and gotten it next day. No bags to carry. No trudging things to the car.

I buy in workable bulk amounts. Some items are in packs of two or three and some in packs of twelve but nothing feels like I need a bomb shelter to store things. Yet, the bonus is that I won’t need more or have to think about an item for several months.

Unlike  Costo and Sam’s  I don’t have to physically go shopping at a discount warehouse to get the benefit and I don’t have to get caught up buying something I don’t need. I make the list that is right for me.

Price. Yes, the important price comparison. Some items are not bargains for sure but I look at the big picture. I diligently compared each item on my shopping list to stores in my area. Some items I saved on and some I paid more for but in the end adding them all together I only spend about $25 more. I think about this when it comes to driving to several stores and the hassle that brings me. I think it’s very much worth it. No more trips to the grocery down the street, the drug store, and then to Whole Foods to get unique items not found in the grocery store. Plus I’ve been on the site and found special deals on some items. I found 12 bottles of our brand of dish liquid for .01. Won’t be out of that for a while!

Special items. There are quite a few items at Amazon that I can’t get even at Whole Foods. Things like black soap and Shea butter tubs. I can avoid a trip to Trader Joes and get my favorite granola from them at Amazon. If you notice on my list I have a bread kit. This kit allows me to easily make fresh loaves of Ezekiel sprouted bread at home as I need them. If you’ve ever purchased Ezekiel breads you know that most are stored in the grocery freezer section. How long have they been there? I also purchase the ingredients to make delicious homemade Seitan, which is my primary vegan meat substitute. No more tofu for me. I’ve decided to stay away from soy products and this option works for me.

Committing to stay out of the grocery store and instead shopping online brings me to yet another important question. What am I going to eat? Well, if you look at the list you will see that there are plenty of things to eat but the other part of my commitment is to only buy my fresh food locally at my farmers market.

This is a commitment to eating food that is in season. In the US we are able to go into the grocery store and get all kinds of fruits and vegetables without regard to how they made it to our grocery store. In truth if it is not in season locally, that fruit has traveled a long way. It may have been picked before it was ripe just so that it would not spoil before it gets to us. The natural flow of nutrients is stunted because of this. Let alone the deadening of flavor that happens when food is refrigerated for transport. Until you have tasted a farm fresh melon or a backyard tomato you have no idea that what you taste when you buy a tomato at a grocery is similar to being in a Matrix movie. You are literally being fed a consumer-based story of what it tastes like. Your brain tells you that story but do you really know what it is supposed to taste like?

Eating only in season brings your body in tune with the world presently around you. Not what is going on and in season in Mexico, Honduras or California. If a particular plant is not in season where you are right now, why should you eat it? Eat the plant that LIVES and THRIVES where you are. There is reason for this. You will live and thrive too! Listen to the earth, the tides and the cycles around you. Become one with what is around you and appreciate where you are.

Farmers markets are of course, filled with local farmers and businesses and it is always good to support them and I do this even though I shop at Amazon. I think this is a good trade. Besides, I don’t see any fully stocked locally owned grocery stores around me. If I did I would shop there. As it stands everything I buy from Amazon would take a similar road to the shelf of a corporate store.

Some photos from the NC Farmers Market:

At the farmers market I can get fresh fruits, vegetables, jams, spices, and wine plus good conversation with the vendors and farmers. They know their product and I get to pick the best foods for me. I also love discovering new items. It you eat meat, dairy and cheese products I think your best bet is to buy them from local farmers who raise their animals locally. Their products are also at the farmers market. Why go to the grocery store and get a pack of chicken that has been processed who knows where, then frozen and shipped to sit on that shelf? Go to the farmer directly.

Finally there is always our backyard garden. Learning to plant in season and care for the food we bring to the table is an incredible experience. Everyone should try to have a little backyard or patio garden. It’s healing.

So overall I believe I can live with no grocery store required. One more thing I have found that I can do without. One more thing that seemed impossible to me because I was just so caught up in the routine of going to the store that I never stopped to wonder if there was another way. Now, I drive past the store without even looking. Feels good. I hope this post was helpful and started your wheels rolling. Think about giving it a shot. The impossible only seems that way until another option becomes clear.

My Amazon List: (Link)

Local Harvest Site: Find Your Local Farmers Market (link)

Barbara Kingsolver: Animal, Vegetable, Miracle. Eating Local (link)

Laptop + Apple TV+ Portable 1 tb Drive = 400 Movies on the Go

With HandBreak, Apple TV, a 1 TB hard drive and my laptop I have built a movie library that is portable and accessible on my iPhone, iPad or most any TV at home or away. Back in the day I would go down to Blockbuster and stock up on the 5 for $25 sale in order to build my movie collection. Not anymore. One reason is because Blockbuster disappeared but mainly it’s because there are better options for movie fans: Netflix and Redbox. Before Netflix changed their membership options I had the unlimited plan and every DVD I would get in the mail I would burn it into my iTunes library and send the DVD back the same day. With Red Box I rent 3 or 4 new release videos at a time, add them to my library and turn them back in a days time. I don’t make copies for friends. I only use them for my own viewing.

Over time this chunking of movies has added up and today I have about 400 old and new release movies in my library. There are so many I haven’t watched yet that movie night is always full of possibilities. Plus because they can quickly be seen over my mobile tech toys, business trips and plane rides are never without movie options.

If you want to do the same you can use HandBreak to easily build your own movie library. No super geek skills required.

First, you’ll need to download HandBreak and iTunes. Both are free.

Then start the transfer process. Insert the DVD into your drive. Most computers will start the DVD automatically so stop the playback and close the DVD player window.

Open the HandBreak application and click the “source” button at the top of the window. (Click the image above for a clear view of the HandBreak screen) This will open up a finder window and you’ll then choose your DVD title as the source. When you click on the DVD its info file will appear. Click the folder marked “video.” Don’t select the audio file. Once you’ve chosen this file HandBreak will start sourcing this file.

While that’s going on click open the toggle presets from the upper right corner. Here you will select which recording format you would like the transfer to be. I choose Apple TV 2 because my movies are mostly played through my iTunes to my version 2 Apple TV hooked up to a 1080p TV. This format choice will give you more specific frames per second images and is clearer on high definition televisions. If you don’t plan on watching movies through an Apple TV select “Regular.” Note that you can choose iPad and iPhone settings if that will be your main viewer and not an Apple TV.

Click the start button and wait for the transfer to finish. Just leave it and let it run. You can still work on your computer while the application runs. The movie transfer time is essentially equal to the film play time. You can check the progress at the bottom of the window. It will tell you how many minutes are left and there will be a drink and pineapple icon on your desktop tool bar that will have a red progress bar.

When the movie is finished transferring you will get a “Put that cocktail down. Your HandBrake queue is done.” message and your version of the video will be on your desktop.

Open iTunes and click the movies library from the left panel. Drag the movie you’ve recorded from the desktop into the movie section of iTunes. This means a copy is placed into your iTunes library. The desktop version will still be there. Click on the version in iTunes and verify that it starts to play. If it does then drag the desktop version to the trash bin and delete it. If you don’t do this step each time, your hard drive will be clogged up with 2 copies of every movie you transfer.

Western Digital 1TB Portable Hard Drive

I strongly suggest buying a portable hard drive to hold your iTunes library. This way your main computer isn’t bogged down with your movie collection. My iTunes library is attached to a 1 TB Western Digital drive that is lightweight and smaller than my hand. My iTunes is set up on my laptop. This means that I can carry my hard drive with all of my movies in my laptop bag. I have a back up of that library on another drive that stays at home.

Now you can watch the movies on your computer or when you synch your iPad or iPhone you can select which movies you would like to take with you. When I travel without my laptop I pick out a about 10 movie choices and load them onto my iPad.

To watch movies on your television using Apple TV just make sure that your iTiunes library is synched with your Apple TV. You can access all of your movies from there. Take your laptop, your Apple TV and an HDMI cord to plug up to the hotel TV and you’ll never be tempted to buy a hotel movie again.

So to summarize the quick steps:

1. Click the source button on HandBreak.
2. Set your transfer format on HandBreak.
3. Click the start button on HandBreak.
4. Open iTunes movie library.
5. Drag the transferred movie from your desktop to iTunes.
6. Put the desktop copy in the trash.
7. Load movies to iPad or iTunes by plugging in and synching.

Before the Dalai Lama spoke at the recent “Talk for World Peace” in Washington D.C. (see blog post) an introductory speech by Archbishop Desmond Tutu was played for the thousands in attendance. The archbishop spoke about the need to do something and reminded all present that any effort for community mobilization is appreciated and takes needed steps toward change.

This was true for many of us in the crowd that day and especially so for my partner and I. My partner had decided some weeks earlier to host a fundraising event for the national non-profit group Stop Hunger Now. The planned event was a food packaging event and if she could raise $2500 we would be able to gather more than 100 volunteers at our local community center and pack 10,000 meals to be shipped to places like Somalia, Ethiopia and Rwanda as our contribution to the fight against hunger. We didn’t quite make that amount and that’s okay. We were able to raise a bit more than $800, changed the location to the Stop Hunger Now warehouse in Raleigh NC, gathered 25 volunteers and packaged 3100 meals. It was a wonderful and fulfilling event that allowed us to personally take part in making a difference.

The surprising thing learned during the experience was in the unexpected difficulty of online fundraising. With facebook and other social media connecting us to hundreds of friends, we believed that it would be a snap to ask them to visit her blog and click a paypal link for a donation. Not so fast.

It was frustrating to find out that while you can flat out ask friends for online donations for yourself, if you ask a friend to contribute online to an event that is run by a non profit, you must also have a non profit status. At least that’s what paypal kept telling us. The paypal donate button placed on the blog clearly explained what we were doing but it was shut down several times. We were finally able to use chipin as the online fundraising page and hit the pavement for the rest. We were always nervous that paypal would shut down donations on the chipin page but fortunately they never caught on. The event was a success although we do believe much more could have been raised had we had the entire fundraising window open with an available donation button. Tough to understand how asking for yourself is accepted by paypal without question or validation of why you’re doing it but what we were doing required so many questions and roadblocks. We were verified by Stop Hunger Now but paypal would only allow us to use the button if we completed a non-profit filing. Interesting.

If anyone has gone through this or has a better way to fundraise online for events please let me know. Not sure if we will ever go through the expense and time of applying for non-profit status but we will continue to try to raise money for causes that we believe in.

Here’s the video from the event. If you are interested in doing an event in your community, contact Stop Hunger Now

Over 20 years ago my mother and I sold nearly everything we had, piled the rest of it into the hatchback of my car and with my infant daughter in the back seat drove from the East Coast towards the West. We had the city of Bakersfield in mind. Bakersfield was my call. My mother had chosen California and told me to pick a city. I decided on Bakersfield because my favorite group at the time (Van Halen), had relocated there when they moved to the U.S. from the Netherlands. Not much more behind the simplicity of my choice. Or so I thought.

Several days later we arrived in California and found Bakersfield to be dry and rough on all edges. It didn’t look like a place we could be happy in. I clearly remember standing just off the highway outside of a phone booth, the hot Santa Anna winds rushing by as my mother and I looked at each other pondering what was next. At the top of the freeway ramp was a sign. The west arrow said Los Angeles. The east arrow said Palm Springs. My mother looked at it, said, “Let’s try Palm Springs,” and got back into the car. We drove to the edge of the town and checked into a weekly inn. When that week was up we were unable to pay more but my mother had convinced the inn owner that she would be finding a job shortly and so he allowed us to stay. I’m not exaggerating when I tell you that I knew she would find a job. That was just who she was. She did what she needed to do and never cared to pay attention to the so-called abnormality of where she came from, what she was doing at the time or where she might be heading.

Within a week she had a job in Palm Springs entertainment fund raising circles. She was hired to solicit celebrities to appear at events. Given a list of agents she set about cold calling them to get their clients to come to Palm Springs for golf tournaments and fancy parties. Had she ever done this type work before? No, but again, that’s just who she was. She could adapt to just about any situation and make it work. Quickly she began to make a good living and soon we had a nice rental home around the corner from that inn. Things moved forward. One afternoon my baby had a febrile seizure and was rushed to the emergency room. While there we encountered a young doctor who would fall hard for my mother. They would soon marry and be together until the day she died in 2005.

Today is my mother’s birthday. As I sat down to blog about the places that I would like to live outside of the US, part 2 to last weeks post, I realized that to some it might seem odd that I haven’t researched these places at length. I’ve never been to any of them and I really don’t feel it necessary to do so beforehand. I’ve never considered it important to do a lot of thinking about a place before I moved there. In my past the only thing I’ve really considered vital about a place was its school system. That was for my daughter and even then it never stopped me from moving to a city, it only dictated what neighborhood I would try my best to get into for school assignments sake. I learned from my mother that you don’t have to start with a lot, you just have to be ready to move forward and never allow yourself to believe that next week will be worse than the one before it . And even if it is, let that be a surprise rather that what you could have convinced yourself would be true. Then you keep stepping.

When thinking of leaving the country, I suppose that I could be concerned with cost of living comparisons, human rights responsiveness, whether a country is into green living, if their dollar and government is solid or if I can get around without being kidnapped or shot. What I am more concerned about though, is whether my future country and city calls me. If you think about it and remove all the logic around who you are and what you do, you know you understand what I mean. You can feel what I am saying is true. Look back at your life. Do you remember the calls that came your way? Did you listen? There is a structure to my journey and the experiences they bring to my life. A structure that I can look back on and clearly see the framework laid out behind me. This decision led to this. That turn lead to there. All I had to do was listen. Now you and I can do the same and be open to accept there is a framework just as remarkable stretched out in front of us.
Listen to the calls.
Listen.
Don’t be afraid.

What places have been calling me?

Hope Town, Abaco Islands Bahamas (link)

Belize City, Belize (link)

Vancouver, Canada (link)

Sydney, Australia (link)

Buenos Aires, Argentina (link)

London, England (link)

Ubud, Indonesia/Bali (link)

And when the time comes I’ll know which will be the first place to go —because I will listen.